Pretty Hurts
by Kelz9162
Summary: All Elena Gilbert had ever focused on in her life was winning, gaining every high title crown she could. She was stuck inside a life controlled by her over domineering mother who would see Elena succeed no matter what the costs. When a man with Raven black hair and unforgettable eyes appears, her world is turned even more upside down. Will he be her savior, or her final downfall?
1. Pretty Hurts

*****A new story I got inspiration from as I listened to Pretty Hurts by Beyonce. Right when I finished the song I busted open my laptop and I began to write this story. I am already in love with it and the concept behind it... But I want to warn you readers that this story will have it's fair share of dark moments. It is not a sun shining love story for any of the characters in it. There will be some abuse, physical/emotional as well as verbal. So with that warning out there I would love it for you guys to read the first chapter and tell me what you think of it. Also Elena's mother in this story is not Miranda, she is my own OC as well as her dad.*****

**Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Diaries or any characters from it.**

**(oh and for any readers of Desire I promise a new chapter will be up in the next couple days i didn't forget about it)**

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_'Mama said you're a pretty girl. What's in your head, it doesn't matter. Brush your hair, fix your teeth. What you wear is all that matters.'_ –Pretty hurts, Beyonce

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I remember when I was young sometimes my mother would let me stay up late at night with her. Those nights were special to me, it was the only hours of my life she was every any semblance of a mother to me. 'Coach first, Mom second,' was something my mom was known for saying, laughing it off like it was a joke with others. But I knew it was the truth.

On those nights she would stay up with me, were the nights we would stay up watching movies. 'Pigging out' as she liked to say with our variety of fruit and sugar free low fat cookies. But those nights meant everything to me. She was just my mom and I was just her daughter. There were no strict meal plans, no dress fittings, no dance class and no more stress of winning.

I'd been in pageants since even before I could crawl. My whole life had revolved around one thing and one thing only, winning that next crown. And I had more than the average person, a whole room in our house dedicated to nothing but my wins. Only the top title, there was no first or second runner up in my mother's vocabulary. Those crowns or trophy's never made it into my house, and I wasn't spoken to for the rest of the night.

The nights I won though, the nights I got that top title those nights were the best nights of my life. Until I ruined them, by telling my mother I no longer wanted to do pageants. The way her face fell, and the heat that raised to her face you would've thought I told her the world had ended.

When she recollected her composure after screaming at me how ungrateful I was she looked at me. Her look frightened me as she glared at me with her ice blue eyes. Her perfect blonde hair never a hair out of place was wild at that moment. Her lips turned into a sneer as she said to me.

"You have no choice." Her words dared me to challenge them and I felt the tears well up in my eyes.

"But momma I don't want to." I said and my bottom lip quivered as I looked up at her. And she showed no compassion as she reached out and struck her ten year old daughter across the face. I inhaled a sharp breath and held it as she looked at me with a deranged look in her eye. Then suddenly the ice melted from her gaze and she was quickly pulling me into her embrace and stroking my hair.

At her embrace I didn't cry, the tears that had filled my eyes were now gone. And when she released me and pulled back her face was streaked with mascara. She smiled and stroked the side of my face softly, and let her hand fall down into her lap.

"We have to keep doing them Elena, you understand that don't you?" I nodded scared of what would happen if I disagreed.

"You want to keep doing them right? For me, to make me happy you will keep doing them right?" When I didn't answer her hand was suddenly clutching mine and squeezing tightly. "Right Elena?" Her voice more anxious now, and her voice quivered.

"Yes," I said and she let go of my hand and smiled.

"Good, that's good. Let's go get cleaned up before your dad gets here." She led me to the bathroom and turned on the shower water and then stood with her arms folded across her chest and looked at me. "Well what are you waiting for Elena?" She exclaimed and I slowly peeled of my clothes as she peered over me.

"Have you been sneaking extra food Elena?" She looked at me her eyes filled with disgust.

"No," I whimpered and she shook her head.

"Than what is this from?" She reached out and pinched my stomach hard pulling the skin out. I jumped away and she sighed.

"Looks like extra dance class for you tomorrow to exercise more, and you'll have to go on a stricter diet. Take your shower Elena." I did as I was told and when I got out I found she had laid my Pajama's out for me. When I got into my bedroom I sat in the chair where I was supposed to as my mother came forward with a brush. I stared into the vanity mirror watching as she did it and when she was done she glanced up and caught my eyes.

"Pretty hurts Elena, something my mother once told me and you will be wise to remember." She held my gaze for one second longer before she walked out of my room and left me staring back at my reflection. A reflection that I no longer wanted to see even at such a young tender age. If my mother had been right about anything in my life, she had been right about one thing.

Pretty hurts.


	2. Perfection

*****Second Chapter already! I know some readers of Desire are probably so mad for this but I promise the next chapter of that will be up tomorrow. As for Pretty Hurts, this chapter is just a taste of what Elena has had to endure her whole life. Again for readers this will not be something everyone will want to read. There are going to be some tough issues addressed throughout the story, and some very tough chapters that even me the writer will have a hard time writing. This is also a Delena story as I am a hard core Delena fan. With all of that being said I hope you guys enjoy this next chapter and as always read and review.*****

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'_Perfection is a disease of a nation,' -Pretty hurts,_ Beyonce

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"No! Elena watch your cues! What are you doing?" I winced at the sound of my mother's loud shriek ringing through the dance studio. Sweat dripped down my forehead as I listened to the clicks of her heels as she marched toward me. "Elena what are you doing today?" She asked and made me look at her.

"I'm trying," I said and she clicked her tongue.

"Try harder! Do you think I had this dance studio built so you could still dance like a clumsy fool all over the place? Now again, from the top," I gritted my teeth as she walked away and replayed the song from the beginning. My sore limbs ached in protest as I got back in the starting position. I tried to focus all my energy on getting every move right, to hit every twirl with precision and grace. "Again!" The shrill voice ripped through my body and I automatically got back in the starting position. Another hour passed before the music stopped and all was silent except for my heavy breathing.

"You need more work, but that will do for today." She said and I knew the routine as I walked over to a scale at the far end of the room. I held my breath as I watched the numbers on the small screen. "Four pounds under your goal weight, oh Elena I told you skipping lunch last week would do you good. You should be thanking me." She smiled at me and she gave my shoulder a small squeeze.

"Thanks mom," I mumbled and jumped off the scale and went to grab my jug of water. "I'm going to take a shower." I said and hurried out of the dance studio and up the stairs where I shut myself in my bedroom. I put my ear against the door to see if I could hear my Mother's heels but there was no sound.

I quickly stripped off my sweat soaked clothes and tossed them into the dirty clothes hamper in the corner before I climbed in the hot shower to ease my now screaming muscles. I let the water run over the most tender spots before I got out not wanting to hear pounding on my door.

My bed looked more than a little comfortable as I walked past it to my closet, but instead I focused on an outfit that would win approval from my mother. After I slipped into a basic form fitting blue dress I popped some aspirin into my mouth, and went back to the bathroom.

When my hair was dried out and every strand was in place, and all the correct make-up had been applied I walked out of my room and back down the stairs. I found my mother quickly in the living room sitting next to my father who looked relaxed on the couch his hand already grasping his glass of scotch. It never left his side when he was home, which wasn't often. Rarely would I see him throughout the week and the rest of the time it was like he didn't exist.

My father was a handsome man, the kind that when I was permitted to have friends over they all had crushes on him. His brown hair with natural gold highlights fell naturally wavy against his head, and his green eyes reminded me of emerald jewels as they sparkled in the sunlight. He had a strong jaw bone, and a perfectly slanted nose that added the character to his face. His build was lean and muscular and he fell just around over six foot.

My father and I never said much to each other, I knew he cared for me but I also knew he didn't know how to show it. Neither of my parents did, not once did I ever recall them kissing one another goodbye or even soft gentle touches. They were cold, indifferent with one another until I entered the room and they put on the false smile to appear as the perfect couple they both appeared to be.

"Elena, I was just telling your father how much we love that new dance studio. Isn't that right David?" His green eyes looked at me before returning to my mother.

"Anything to make you girls happy Kim," He swallowed down another mouthful of scotch.

"We are very happy right Elena?" She looked at me waiting for my response and I put on my smile.

"Yes very happy," My mother smiled even brighter at my response.

"Elena has a photo shoot today for the biggest pageant we've been in yet, if she wins this one she is a shoe in candidate for the teen USA pageant. This is what we have been working for David, and although we still have a lot more work to do I have high hopes for how it will turn out." She always made sure she included 'we' whenever she talked about my pageants.

"I'm sure you will be great honey," He responded and cleared his throat before standing up to pour himself another scotch.

"Oh she will be, isn't that right Elena," I gave her my best smile and nod and she seemed satisfied enough.

"I have work to do, you ladies enjoy the rest of your day." He raised his glass before exiting out of the room leaving us alone. When he did my mother's cold blue eyes were like daggers digging into me.

"What are you wearing?" She exclaimed and looked me up and down like she was appalled.

"You just bought me this dress," I answered and she rolled her eyes.

"Seriously Elena, do I have to do everything myself?" She got up off the couch and disappeared for a couple minutes before reappearing with another dress in her hands. "Put this on." She instructed handing me the white lace dress and when I began to walk away she stopped me.

"Elena we don't have time change right here." I did as I was told taking off the first dress and putting on the new one. It was tighter than my first choice, as well as shorter with the back fully exposed and open. "It's a whole new ball game now that you are in the higher age groups Elena, get with the program."

"It's tight," I responded and tried to pull the dress down further and breathe all at the same time.

"Well looks like you might just have a few more pounds to shed doesn't it," She snapped impatiently waiting for me to put my shoes back on. I felt the words hit me like a cold hard slap and I caught my reflection in the mirror on the wall. Could I really stand to lose any more weight? It had already been hard enough to drop the five pounds she had already said I needed to lose, yet another couple on top of that.

I followed her out to the car and tuned her out as we drove to the new photography place she now wanted all my pictures done at. 'Highly recommended' was all she had told me when she announced we were switching our photographers and going another way. It didn't surprise me, none of the people she hired for me ever lasted long.

When we pulled into a driveway and my mother parked the car I began to take off my seatbelt and get out until her hand was tightly gripping my arm stopped me.

"Don't you dare embarrass me, just be…. Pretty." She said and I swallowed the lump in my throat as she let me go and got herself out of the car. I followed her inside and she approached a red head who was sitting at a desk in the front lobby. "We are here to see Damon Salvatore, Elena Gilbert had a session scheduled for three o'clock today."

"Welcome," The redhead responded smiling brightly as her eyes ran over both me and my mother. "I will go let Damon know you are here, you can have a seat while you wait. Would either of you like anything to drink or snack on?"

"We are fine thank you," She responded and came and found a seat next to mine. The red head went into the back before reappearing and motioning for us to come back with her. I rose with my mother as we walked down a long narrow hallway before entering a very large open room.

"Damon will be right in, if you need anything my name is Rose and I will be upfront."

"Thank you Rose," I said softly as she walked away and my mother shot me a narrowed glance.

"Remember what I said Elena, I worked very hard just to get us in with this guy. He only works with the best, and well it took a lot of convincing in your case to get him to agree." I tried to ignore her passive comment and looked around the large studio eyeing all the equipment set up all around them.

"Mom where did you find this guy?" I asked right before a male voice rang through the studio.

"Craigslist, right Kim?" Elena turned and nearly felt her ankle give out on her as blue eyes with hints of green glanced over her.

"Damon so good to see you again," I watched the brief contact that came between them and felt lost for words when his eyes focused back on me.

"And you must be Elena," Somehow I managed to extend my hand and shake his the touch sending goose bumps popping up all over my skin. "She is perfect Kim, why didn't you tell me that part." Damon gave a little wink as he ran his hand through his already perfectly messy hair.

"Hardly Damon, this is why I need your help so desperately right now."

"Well let's see what I can do for you today," He flashed a perfect white smile before leading me over to the white backdrop in the middle of the room.

"Are you already beginning? You don't think she needs to be…" She trailed off some and looked at me then to Damon.

"What?" He asked and she sighed.

"Fixed up a little," He laughed.

"I told you Kim she looks perfect, all I need for you is whatever else you want her shot in. And all I need from Elena is exactly what she is doing right now," I felt myself blush and I gave a small smile. "And that, beautiful," He mumbled as he pulled out his camera and began right away snapping pictures of me.

"Put your hand on your hips Elena! Smile bigger! Stand up straight!" I was mortified as she snapped all these things at me in a matter of five minutes. I tried to do the things she was requesting of me, but I would catch the roll of her eye when I attempted it. I didn't want to know what Damon thought of me anymore at this moment, I knew it wasn't good. I wanted to run from the room as more negative direction was uttered from my mother's mouth.

"Next outfit please," Damon said clearing his throat. "There is a changing room, right to the left." I couldn't bring myself to look at him as I quickly made my way over to the changing room my mother closely at my heels.

Right as the door closed behind us I felt the back of my head being slammed hard against the solid very hard wall behind me. I gasped the pain sending white and red dots dancing before my eyes.

"I thought I told you not to embarrass me," She hissed and I tried to breathe evenly through my nose and mouth to ebb the sharp throb that was now consuming the back of my head and shooting down my neck.

"I'm sorry," I said and she threw my formal dress towards me.

"Get dressed!" She barked and I did as I was told, trying my best to not move my head so much as I slipped on the satin blue dress and turned so she could finish zipping me up. "Let's go," she instructed and I followed her lead out of the dressing room. As she stopped me and smoothed the back of my hair hard with both of her hands I wanted to scream as the pain blinded me for a couple seconds.

"Kim can I speak to you for a few moments," Damon said and my mother turned away from me and smiled sweetly.

"Of course," She said and walked off with him where they spoke in hushed whispers. My mother's face turned up in a scowl but she nodded her head and shot me a hot glare before stalking out of the room. Damon turned back to me and gave me a soft smile.

"Where is my mother going?" I asked and he laughed turning to glance back at the door.

"I talked her into sitting in the waiting room while we finish up, she isn't one to um ease somebody if they are already nervous as it is."

"You're nervous?" I asked before I knew what I was asking and I felt the heat rushing instantly to my face making the pain in my head throb harder.

"Your mother is an intimidating woman, I'm sure you're used to her but I am not. But I wasn't talking about me." He held up his camera and I walked forward into the middle of the back drop again and forced my smile back on my face as he began snapping pictures. "Don't smile," He said and my smile dropped off my face.

"What?" I asked not sure what he was trying to say. He walked forward and the lights captured his perfectly sculpted face that had the faint showing of a five o'clock shadow. His eyes were intent as he pulled a bench up behind me and quickly laid a white sheet down over it and motioned with his hands to sit down.

I sat down on it and looked up at him and he snapped a picture before reaching out and gently taking my chin making me lean my head to the side and back slightly. I could hardly breathe when he pulled his hand away from positioning me the way he wanted. I prayed he wouldn't notice, prayed he wouldn't think I was like all those other young girls who I knew surely had crushes on him. I was just nervous, my first time shooting with him and he had to look like that. His seemed perfection was intimidating to me to say the least.

"Don't smile this time, just relax your face try to think of something happy or something you love." I waited for thoughts to come to me but nothing did. When he moved the camera away from his face I felt my stomach doing little flip flops and he automatically began to click his camera.

"I think I have enough," He said after a couple more poses and I leaned my head back up and the sudden movements made me wince in pain. "Are you ok?" He asked and I nodded giving him the artificial smile I had perfected over the years.

"I'm fine, should I go change?" I asked feeling lost suddenly without the direction of my mother telling me what to do.

"No, or yes but just into the clothes you came in we can finish up the rest tomorrow." He set his camera down and saw my expression. "What?" He asked smiling at me.

"Tomorrow?" I asked and he nodded.

"Didn't your mom tell you I'm your new Ballet instructor."

"No, she didn't." I stopped even more puzzled. "You dance ballet?"

"You look so surprised by that is it so hard to believe? Are you one of those girls who thinks every man is gay who is in Ballet?"

"No of course not," I said quickly and he chuckled.

"Good I didn't think so, I'm going to go upload these pictures so your mom can look through them while you get dressed." He walked away leaving me alone in the huge room by myself. I walked into the dressing room and quickly slipped out of one dress and back into the other. I zipped up the protective bag around the dress and carried it out of the dressing room and I walked back up to the front.

"Back here Elena," My mom said sticking her head out of an office down the hall. I walked towards the door and slipped inside seeing a picture of me blown up on the computer screen. My palms began to sweat as I looked at my mother's dissatisfied face.

"Now I personally really like this one," Damon said pulling up another picture of me the one where I was blushing and smiling after he had called me beautiful. I scolded myself silently,

_Don't be stupid Elena, he wasn't calling you beautiful._

"No offense to you Damon dear you take beautiful pictures, just photo shop the pictures I picked out and we can redo the pictures next week sometime."

"You want me to photo shop them?" He asked looking back and forth from the computer to my mother.

"Of course, we want perfection Damon that's what we aim for right Elena?" She looked at me her sickly sweet smile making me feel ill.

"Of course," I said and Damon shook his head.

"I just-" My mother cut him off.

"Can you do it or not?" Her tone had grown sharp and he nodded.

"Yeah I can do it, there just truthfully isn't much to fix."

"Are we looking at the same pictures?" She said her smile tight and I took a step back from the both of them.

"Yes we are, listen I'll fix them up for you Kim don't you worry that pretty little head of yours." He said standing up from his chair and rested his hands gently on her shoulders. Her face instantly relaxed and she gave him a bright smile.

"Of course you will, that's why we had to have you Damon. You understand the meaning of perfection." She turned to me and I felt my shoulders relax as I took in the look in her eye. "Did Damon tell you he was one of the top dancers in the biggest ballet company there is Elena? He is going to be your new dance instructor, I told him your last three just didn't make the cut. Only the best for our dear sweet Elena right?" I smiled and nodded my head.

"Thank you for taking the time to help me." I said knowing it was expected of me.

"It is going to be a pleasure I can tell," His words brought the heat back up to my face and I quickly glanced to the ground.

"So we will see you tomorrow then," She said and he gave her another of his dazzling smiles that didn't help how hot my face had become.

"Tomorrow, you girls behave now." He said and I followed my mom out of the office risking one more glance back at him and saw his eyes following me as I left.

_He wasn't looking at you Elena._

I got into the car ignoring my subconscious and I felt my mom's eyes drilling into the side of my head and I didn't dare glance over at her until she started the car and drove away.

"All I wanted was one perfect picture Elena was that really so much to ask?"

"No," I said quietly and she slammed her hand on the steering wheel.

"You need to try harder Elena, I can't do everything all by myself. I need you to pull your own weight, I need you to be perfect and why do I need you to be perfect Elena?"

"Because all the other girls will be," I replied.

"That's right Elena we aim for perfection, because?" She waited for me to finish and I cleared my throat and glanced over at her.

"Perfection is beauty," I practically chocked on my words knowing I would never reach the point of perfection my mother yearned for.


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